Make Joy A Priority If Not Your Main Priority in Life
Man, we get so many people telling us what is ok for us to feel and not to feel, don’t we?
We’re told not to keep our emotions bottled up, but then no one wants to hear about them. Or maybe you’ve been told it’s tacky to express excitement and joy over something because, I don’t know, other people don’t feel happy? Can’t we just let everyone do their thing and be themselves already?
I was thinking a lot about how we get criticized for any and all emotions and I thought- hey that relates to the Sacral Chakra, which we’ve been talking about all month!
Svadhisthana, or the Sacral Chakra, is our energetic representation of our emotional body. When we work with this chakra, the goal is that it functions in a balanced way. Specifically, in this case, our emotions would flow freely and we would feel validated in having them.
What’s crazy is you would think people would be quicker to judge those who are feeling sadness or pain or trauma. Other people’s pain makes us uncomfortable, usually because there is nothing we can do. People just have to feel it. But we don’t want to be uncomfortable, so we often avoid those who are going through those experiences. There’s a lot psychologically to unpack there….too much for me to tackle truthfully…but what I am always stunned by is the judgment one receives for the opposite- FEELING JOY AND PLEASURE.
It reminds me of a story from a few years back. One of my very good friends had gotten married and she and her new husband decided to travel for a couple of months straight because they planned on starting a family when they returned. During their travels, they went to so many amazing places both in the US and internationally, and they made a stop during their travels to Tuscon, AZ where I was living at the time, to hang out with me for a few days before they left the country again. I remember hanging out at a bar one night with them and just hearing all about their travels and they had so many amazing tales to tell! They were so excited and they had been having the best time. So I was happy for them AND I was excited to hear about all of the cool things they were doing. After a bit of chatting, my friend said “I’m sorry we keep talking about all this stuff, we don’t mean to be annoying.” And I was kinda like….what? I reassured her I was excited to hear where they had been and there was no need to apologize.
The next thing she said made me both laugh and shake my head.
She said, “Well I don’t want to come off like we’re bragging. Some of our friends have acted like we are trying to show off to them and I don’t want to act like that.”
I mean. COME ON. Just because everyone hasn’t had the exact opportunities as everyone else… or the exact experience, doesn’t mean anyone should feel shame for something that they are excited about. But I remember my husband chiming in that night and saying he had felt similar when telling his clients about our recent trip to Oktoberfest in Germany. He felt guilty talking about it like he was also being a show-off.
Sooooo we need to feel our sadness and pain but we shouldn’t express it to others. And when we’re happy and enjoying our life…no one wants to hear about that either? I mean where does that leave us as people? We just can’t feel or do anything without burdening someone else I guess.
All emotions should be a priority and should be fully felt. From the tougher emotions like sadness, anger, or grief, to happiness, pleasure, and joy. I mean come on…in life most of us are seeking joy and happiness, but then should we achieve moments of it, it’s not cool to outwardly express that in case someone else isn’t happy? NO.
I’m all about being sensitive to what others are going through…but at the end of the day if someone has a problem with your emotions…ANY of them for that matter…that’s their problem, not yours. And it works the other way around…if you are having an extreme reaction to someone else expressing themselves, I’d ask yourself why you are reacting that way…because it’s a YOU problem.
make joy and pleasure your main priority
Let’s move into the happier piece of this though: giving yourself permission to be joyful and feel pleasure. The Sacral Chakra is our emotional center…and as a quick sidenote….our sexuality and sensuality. If you’re a woman, you know our pleasure in these realms is so much more taboo than the pleasure of a man…so go ahead and work on throwing that idea out the window while you’re at it!
But joy and pleasure in general are not only amazing but powerful emotions. It’s what we all strive to experience in a sustainable way. Yoga teaches us about the impermanence of life and therefore we can’t attach to any specific thing or experience as a means of joy, but that doesn’t mean we can’t feel it when we get those gleaming moments. We should appreciate those moments because we are changing and evolving people with fluctuating and reactive minds. Where there is happiness, there will art some point be sadness. For the heaviness with which we feel those darker emotions, we should give ourselves permission to experience love, joy, and pleasure just as intensely.
When you prioritize joy you:
can much more easily sustain work and life and all of the things in between
2. start to find balance in your masculine and feminine (effort with ease, consciousness with creation)
3. spread joy, because it can be contagious
What brings you joy? If you’re holding back from those experiences, dig deep to find out what your beliefs are about feeling and expressing joy.
Ever told someone you have a GUILTY PLEASURE?
I bet you have and it’s because once again, we feel the need to apologize for enjoying something truly in a personal way. We’re worried about being selfish or judged at all times it seems.
So you love what you love. And the things that make you happy should be appreciated because this world gives us a lot more reasons to be sad than happy it would seem.
Embrace joy
My new yoga class on Youtube this week is all about EMBRACING JOY. Embrace joy on your mat, in your movement, and in your life. And whatever brings you joy, sure as HELL don’t apologize for it.